The Book of Gunn

I have, over the years of rabid geekdom, spouted, shouted, and disgorged a number of truly odd and bizarre statements. Some of them I've come to like quite a bit. Most of these have either come from gaming sessions or while dealing in RPG situations. These random quotes that I have come up with may not be the most original, and someone else may have said these as well (since I'm of the opinion that there are few truly "original" thoughts left out there), but they're mine, I have said them, and I wish to put them down somewhere. Heaven knows, I post these as signature lines on forums I belong to, write them at the end of emails, and disgorge them at truly inappropriate moments in pleasant conversation. This is a work in progress and will be updated from time to time with warning, rhyme, or reason. 

Why is this called the "Book of Gunn"? Well, first off, because it sounds cool. Just like bow ties being cool, there's no explaining it, it just is.

Next reason: I played in a Serenity (Firefly) RPG once. My character was a minister with a shady past. He had studied for a time after Shepherb Book, and went out into the wide 'verse under the name "Shepherd Gunn". Though I only played the character for a few months, I loved this character, and the name has kind of followed me through a number of different games.

Final reason: When I played on White Wolf's old World of Darkness chat rooms, one of the characters had his own "book" that he carried  around with him. My character (and I as a player) just liked the idea of having a book that you could open up, preach from, and then hit someone over the head with it. I believe he called his "The Book of Rage" or something like that. I stole the idea (which I know was actually stolen originally from the New Adventures of Johnny Quest, but I won't tell if you won't.)

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"Man cannot live by bread alone. This is truth. Likewise, bullets and blades are not the only way to kill him." [This one does get altered depending on the setting. Blaster and Lightsabers, Sword and Spell, Fang and Claw.]

"Ancient weapons and hokey religions seem to work well enough for me."

"In Brightest Day, in Darkest Night, no evil shall... hey, where'd you go?"

"If you have Fu, fling it now."

"The pistols are called 'Salvation' and 'Damnation', 'cause you gotta die to reach'em. The shotgun? That's called 'Repentance', 'cause it may not kill ya, it'll hurt like Hell, and you'll wish you were dead."

"Some days, you just want your credits for nothing and the twi'lek dancing girls for free."

"You can't always get what you want, but with a large enough blaster you can get pretty close."

"No, I don't think putting racing stripes on your freighter will make it go faster."

"Wild horses couldn't tear me away. Orbital bombardments on the other hand..."

"Never judge a book by it's cover. 'less that cover is made of human skin, bound in chains, and snarlin'. Then, feel free to judge."

"A bird in the hand is worthless! How do you expect me to aim with that darn thing flapping away."

"Lady, unless you've got a Quantum Flux Capacitor hidden under that dress, I'm not interes... Oh! You do have a Quantum Flux Capacitor hidden under that dress. I apologize, please, continue..."

In response to the picture to the right...

"And he said unto them, suffer the little Dromaeosauridae to come unto me..." - Book of Gunn Prologue 75,000,000:26

The Pages of Pryde

I have a very good friend who has also uttered some great one-liners. While I definitely wanted to put some of the more memorable lines down somewhere. I figure adding them as an addendum to the "Book of Gunn" would work. 

"Attention Imperial Star Destroyer! I believe you lost the war. Lower your shields and prepare to be boarded." [switch off the com] "I think you're going to need to do some evasive maneuvers."

"Yes, but does it speak Bocce?"